Why are we performative ?

Understanding why we are performative through Maslow’s hierarchy

We know the fact that we all are performative in some or the other way.

But on the surface level we can think it of as to please others or get external validation from others.

But it does have a deeper meaning to it.

Ok so my first explanation to this will use Maslow hierarchy of needs

Now I want you all to see the three part of this triangle which is :

Love and belonging:

Many of us grow up learning (subtly or directly):[ indirectly or in a non directive way too]

“You’re loved when you behave well”

“You’re valued when you succeed”

“You’re praised when you fit expectations”

So if all these were fed to us then we think that doing this specific thing will make me loved and thus others will accept me.

So we start seeing this as a form of love.

Ok now let’s shift to what happens to the brain :

So when we get praises or approval from doing something, our brain realises dopamine.

Over time, the brain learns:

Act this way →get reward →feel okay

So instead of asking “What do I actually want?” the brain starts asking:

“What will get me approval?”

This trains the brain to optimise for external reward, not internal truth.